1. |
How?
02:00
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I would never do something like this to a friend. How hard is it to keep track of time if you keep your head out of your ass? I'm five hundred miles from home and you just disappear. Why can't you stick to your word? If something is wrong then please make yourself heard. I don't know anyone or where I am. I have never been here. This is the worst time that you could bail on our plans. How could I call you a friend? Just leave me alone.
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2. |
Afternoon
01:36
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Get to shower in the afternoon. Wash off the scent of cats and living rooms. My beard smells like last night's beer and that's just part of being here. I lost my deodorant. My pits are on the loose. So I don't wanna be near you. It doesn't matter what I say, these humid summer days will tear my heart away. Got me wishing I was in Florida but I know where not to let my mind go.
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3. |
Spooky Mulder
01:28
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Instead of being mad, I'll go and ride my bicycle. Scream bad words in my head. Since I'm alive, I should be glad. Hold my heart out in my phone. Take a picture let everyone know that we are together. Let everyone known I'm not under the weather. You always make me feel good. When you're around no bad guys can get me. when I stay up late watching too much TV. Too much spooky Mulder fucking with me. Only watch scary shows when I'm not with you. Act like an adult but I get scared, too.
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4. |
Gotta Do Something
00:30
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I've got a sinking feeling in my chest and I don't know what to do. Maybe I should lie about 'cause that's all I ever do. I've gotta do something about this. I've gotta start anew. I've gotta stop ruining everything! Everything I've got going good for me. Boo hoo!
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5. |
Being a Cool Guy ™
01:04
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I don’t think I hate everyone, I just hated where I was because after seeing the east coast, it was hard to make myself go out for weeks. But now that I’m back out here where people seem to give a shit. I don’t feel like my efforts are going to waste. When everyone’s acting too cool for their small town, I just to ask myself "Why?" Because there’s not reason to try and be a cool guy when you have nothing to brag about.
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6. |
School & Rocks
02:06
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I miss driving 'round in my car. Three hours is never too far for you. Turn the stereo up loud. But never loud enough where I can't hear your voice. I love everything you say and every note that rings out of your mouth. Sing along to all our favorite songs. Sleep face to face. Skipping school and skipping rocks. And I've grown out my hair, you've cut off all your locks. Too cool for too many years. Now we're finally old enough to enjoy our beers. Growing old with you, there's nothing else that I'd rather do.
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7. |
More to Say
02:08
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I wish I had more to say about politics and less about my feelings. But part of me just wants to unfuck this void that nihilism has created inside of me. I feel like part of me is about to shed and become new but lately I feel like that about everything. Staring at a midwest sunrise made me realize almost everything I do is for someone that I love. And what's the fucking point of feeling so fucked up on the inside? It's been over a year since I wanted to end it. This is me trying to get with it.
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8. |
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Walking around late at night and long phone calls and Streetlight [Manifesto] all remind me of you and living near you. Just like thunderstorms and watching the Office. And breakfast before work and coffee. And falling in love to all our favorite songs each time I see your face. I missed you more than anyone would ever know. I just don't let it show. And lately, Tallahassee seems to be the only place I ever want to go. I wish we weren't so far from home.
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9. |
Saint Marks
01:46
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Got too much to do. I'm in love with you. You're too far away to just come for the day. Go to the reserve. Taking some pictures. It's so fucking cold. Thanks for being in my pictures. Working outside sounds like a bad time. In the rainy summer time I'm glad you're mine.
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10. |
Never
02:16
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Sometimes it hurts to exist. I wish I could go back to ignorance because ignorance is bliss. It's so hard to be alive when you're all fucked up on the inside. And I don't wanna be. I never want to be. I spend most of my time being made now. All I can ever think about is how I'm doomed to a late capitalist hell. I'm running out of choices. I'm not doing well.
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11. |
A Letter
01:00
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April rolls around, do you still feel dead inside? I don't know why you can't bring yourself to go outside. The sun invades your personal space or is it your inexplicable disdain for the human race? I know that you'll never want to go to school when you stay up late like a fucking fool. When you're not around, I try to keep you nowhere to be found while I'm playing all my favorite songs and you hurt all fucking night long. As you fuck up your life one day at a time. The Earth will make you theirs. Dirt soaked, covered hair. Do I think you'd even fucking care?
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12. |
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As you chase the sun over the horizon, you'll meet your new moon out west because those desert starts aligned pointing down at you. While the stars mean nothing to me, they mean the whole world to you. Good luck in New Mexico. Thanks for visiting me in Ohio and taking pictures of high school kids playing baseball on that hot spring day. I will alway cherish you and the times we get to spend together. I only see you when it's beautiful outside like back in August in the mountains of New England. Or in a tropical paradise. Florida's always on my mind.
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FARSEEK Georgia
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